I didn’t plan on being a caregiver, but God’s plans for us are often different than our own.

Taking care of an aging parent is hard. The person who raised you, told you to do your homework, set your curfew, laughed and cried with you through all the challenges of growing up, now needs you to do the same for them.

Or maybe you were raised by someone who seemed to care very little, and now you’re the only one who can care for them.

How do you become the one who makes the rules? The one who makes them go to the doctor. How do you go from asking for their advice to giving it? And how do you do it without making them feel “managed,” and how do you do it while managing everything else?

These are the questions I’ve asked over and over again.

I am not a doctor, psychologist, nutritionist, or fitness trainer. My college degrees do not concern aging, anatomy, or the human mind. But the school of hard knocks has a way of teaching you more than you ever wanted to know or knew that you needed.

I helped my family take care of my grandpa as he slowly lost his life to dementia. I helped Grandma manage her finances when it became hard for her to navigate the myriad of expenses she had as a business owner and widow.

I took care of my parents after my dad was critically injured in a car accident, and my mom struggled with the debilitating fear that it would happen again. Then, I took care of Mom as she graciously battled the ovarian cancer that overtook her body and claimed her life.

Now, I take care of my dad, who has simply aged in a body that has been broken and put back together from head to toe as a result of one injury or accident after another.

Oh, and I can’t forget my neighbor, an elderly widow with a loving family that does not live close by. I look in on her and help her when she needs me.

There are tons of experts willing to offer advice and opinions. A myriad of sites promise they can help you find housing, order supplies, find insurance, or fix just about anything you can think of when caring for an aging parent. But sometimes, you just want to hear from someone who’s been there. You’re looking for someone who’s gone through what you’re going through and learn what that person discovered to see if their discovery can help you, too.

That’s why I created Dad Lives with Me.

You’re not alone, my friend.